Untitled
by Major-Ryan
Summary: Edward Janeway. His life, his love and his death.
1. Hello my name is Edward

Disclaimer: Trek own all except my characters of convenience.

Summary: Edward Janeway. His life, his love and his death.

Rating: (PG)

A/N: **The opening paragraph is re-word of one of the most beautiful phrases ever to be put down on paper. From Nicholas Sparks's "The Notebook". I hope I did it justice.**

_Please note this is a work in progress. It has not been beta'd so all mistakes are mine :) Yay!_

**_Untitled (for now)_**

_By Major_Ryan_

_"I used to write in my younger days. Nothing special or extraordinary. Nothing anyone would deem worthy of mention. My ideas were familiar, and could easily be told by anyone who felt inclined. But in many ways, I've been authoring one of the most beautiful stories I could ever had imagined. A narrative for my generations, and for myself, a great accomplishment._"

I suppose this is where I tell you we have to go back a few years. Eleven, give or take a few months. I was a fresh ensign, stationed on the Mars colony. It was my dream assignment, handed to me in the worst possible way.

You see, I wasn't originally posted for an off planet job. My roommate, got the position through sheer determination, not to mention out scoring me on the Academy Extension course. I was devastated at first, but ever the pleasing diplomat, I wished him well and took an assistant position offered to me at Headquarters.

Richard Hendricks was his name, but we called him Dick. I met Dick on orientation when we were both fumbling and trying to find our formal class. If you could imagine both of us, eyes glued to the campus console, running late and facing disciplinary action on our first day. After much confusion and sweating we made it to class, just as his name rung out in the roll call.

There was so much to take in, that I couldn't key in data fast enough. Out Formal instructor gave the class information on uniform collection and necessary campus protocols, enough information to have our heads spinning for a year. His aid stood beside him and passed out Padd after Padd, there had to be at least 20 tucked under his arm. I remember leaning over to Dick and telling him that if this is what was like on the first day, then we were going to need aids of our own.

Nevertheless, as luck would have it we were assigned the same campus quarters. It was a small room with matching work consoles and beds. I was surprised to find a replicator fixed to the far wall, usually first year recruits had to make do with the campus mess. I immediately thought we were miss-assigned or had the wrong room, but Dick assured me it was ours.

I queried him about it and he told me he pulled in a favor from his brother. His older brother was a fifth year cadet, serving under the admiral who oversaw the campus housing as well as the Earth history curriculum.

Apparently he was one of the toughest instructors at Starfleet, but Dick's brother, Thomas requested his tutelage, cause of his involvement with the Friendship One project. Dick said Thomas had been obsessed with it since he heard about it in grade school and he wanted to be the first one to find the lost probe. We joked about how beneficial it was to have connections, even if it came from a pompous older brother who's social life revolved around an archaic messenger of good will.

Over break, we talked a little more about our backgrounds and he told me he grew up on the outskirts of Iowa. His parents were engineers and supplied cropping equipment to the surrounding states. A pleasant introduction to tinkering with mechanics, but restricting in many ways. His brother had left the family home a few years back, which had piked Dick's initial interest in someday joining. It was against their parents wishes. They had hoped their sons would follow the family career, but I guess the pull of Starfleet was just too tempting and as Dick reminded his parents, they still had their sister and younger brother. They could take over the supplying, should their parents wish to retire in the next few years.

I couldn't agree more, about leaving. A good portion of our class mates were lured into a life of travel beyond the stars, the unknown. Who wants to be tied down to agricultural life, when you could be exploring the galaxy.

I was fortunate to have full support from my parents, even though they weren't Starfleet aficionado's themselves, they knew enough about it to give me their blessing. After all, it was a Janeway tradition.

I often heard long tales of the Janeway's over the years. Their accomplishments and acts of heroism.

It was rumored that a Fred Janeway, a medical officer assigned to the El-Aurian's home world, was transported aboard the SS Lakul. As the story goes the ship disappeared, only to return years later. I sometimes wondered about what happened, the fine details were lost overtime and even my sister Margret, had difficulty in recapping on occasions.

And of course there was my uncle Harry, or Noddy as my father called him. Federation's head ambassador to the Cardassian Union. He was brutally murdered when the Cardassian strike force occupied Bajor in 2319. His loss was my first experience in dealing with death and it was difficult for me, as a young child to understand that he was never coming back.

When I decided to enroll, I thought his death might hinder my chances in winning my parents over, but they reassured me that, his death couldn't have been foreseen. As stubborn as my uncle was, he wasn't foolhardy and believed he could prevent the occupation diplomatically and therefore save lives.

Looking back, my fathers words helped me in more ways then I could ever imagine and as we made our way to afternoon class, Dick uttered three words that had summed it all up.

_It's Crunch Time._


	2. The break before the bond

**The break before the bond.**

It had started off with a mutual respect, their union brought about at a pinnacle turning point in both their lives. A gesture of friendship which initiated a first date, that led to what would be their second official date. He invited her to accompany him on a day trip. Little did he know what this day, in particular would herald for them both.

Edward had decided it would be pleasant to take her on a hiking expedition. Currently on a weeks sabbatical before shipping off to the Mars colony, he wanted one last outing before his assignment commenced.

Edward loved the rigorous exercise, the open air and landscape. There was no better location where he could experience all those things then at The Grand Canyon.

At first she was hesitant to go, but quickly came around once she knew of his experience in navigating the rocky terrain. Things went smoothly up until the last hundred meters of track.

One minute they were laughing and joking about her being out of breath, the next, she had it knocked cleanly out of her. She had slipped down an unstable part of the rocky outcrop and all that registered in Edward's mind was her scream. The loud cry, brutally echoed off the canyon walls. His heart lunged in his chest and in quick succession, he turned, grabbing both of her hands.

His body had slid partially off the cliff with her, only to stop when it was met with resistance from his stomach. Trying desperately to control her thrashing about, he pleaded with her to keep her eyes upon his.

"Look at me. Whatever you do, don't look down", He instructed.

Terrified, she struggled against the ledge, her pants tearing from the sharp edges of rock. She still had her backpack attached, but it was weighing her down making the rescue near impossible. She screamed when he let go of her with his left hand.

Now only holding onto both of her hands with his right, he secured himself against the sharp rock with his left hand. His rapid heartbeat was making the blood rush in his ears and he could hardly hear his own words over the uproar.

"Gretchen, you need to remove the backpack", came his strained voice.

"I can't", she cried back to him, struggling frantically.

"You must. I cannot pull you up with the added weight", he implored.

With a shaky breath she searched his eyes, fear washing over the surfaces. She shook her head in defiance, she didn't think she could reach the pack without loosing her grip.

Realizing that his obvious expression of dread wasn't helping the situation, he cleared his mind to focus on giving her the reassurance she needed. If they weren't to spend their last few seconds on earth falling to their death, she needed to calm herself and trust him. Trust that he wouldn't let them die.

"That's an order", he barked in desperation.

Briefly focused from the change she saw, she took another shaky breath and nodded agreement.  
Slowly she released her left hand and reached for the shoulder strap. Unfastening the clip, the backpack fell against her right side. The shift in weight flung her body sideways and the feel of suddenly being thrown off balance, scared her to the point where she started thrashing about again.

"Don't let me fall", she screamed.

"I've got you. I've got you", he repeated.

Her eyes never leaving his, she nodded unconsciously over and over again.

"Now you need to let go with your right hand and let the pack fall off".

"I don't think I can. Please I don't want to die", she begged.

Her arms were growing tired and the adrenalin running through her system was making her feel light headed.

"You are not going to die, you hear me? You can do this, just let it fall and I'll pull you up".

Within a split second she let go of his hand and let the pack slide off her arm and fall. The discarded object bounced off the various rocks and ledges, landing with a thud down below.

With the excess weight now gone, he instantly pulled her to safety. A super human effort that he never knew he possessed.

Gasping widely, the both fell backwards onto the relieving ground beside him, their exerted nerves making them dizzy and wobbly. Catching her breath, she shifted closer to him and laid her head against his chest. She didn't feel like letting go right away, with the shock of it all.

"Are you okay?", he hugged her close to his side.

"Yes, I'm okay, I think".

"That was a close call woman. Never do that to me again", he sternly told her.

"You can't order me around", she joked.

The brisk jab wasn't meant to be disrespectful, more an instant reflex to the overwhelming sense of being alive.

"Still, all the same. I do not wish to repeat that, ever".

"Neither do I".

Once they had calmed themselves enough to trust their legs, the stood up and began dusting themselves off. As they made their way back to the transporter site, they let the air hang silent amongst their heavy steps. Both were taking in the surrounding atmosphere as if it they had never set eyes on the vast colorful landscape before now.

Upon reaching the transport console, Edward put his pack down and began to enter the co ordinates for a site to site transport back to Gretchen's local station. Just as he was about to initiate the transport, she stopped him and pulled him aside.

The days events had scared them both to no end, but the accident was still very raw in Gretchen's mind. The experience left her feeling at a loss, her fears were overtaking her emotions once again. Their imminent separation, once she returned home, had a unexpected side affect that was causing her discomfort and anxiety.

All of a sudden she realized, she didn't want to loose his company so soon after their brush with death. She wanted him to understand that his selfless act had changed her, that she wanted more from him. More then what a standard second date would have amounted too. She needed him to be hers, forever.

Timidly taking a hold of his hand, the very same hand that had saved her life, she rubbed the dust from his knuckles.

"Thank you for saving my life", came her shy words.

"Your welcome", he smiled back at her.

Judging by the look in her eyes, he knew she had more to say. He urged her on with a gentle squeeze.

"If you weren't there, if i...", the last word choking in her throat.

"Shhh, it's okay. Your safe now and if I can help it, I won't let anything happen to you again", he tried to reassure her.

Gretchen nodded in understanding, her watery eyes releasing a single tear.

Edward never thought any woman could look as more beautiful as she did right then.

Covered in red dust with her hair in disarray, the burden of fear being spilled from her small frame. He leaned into the small space that separated them, placing his hand against her cheek, he gave her a slow kiss on the lips. He broke away , smiling at her in wonderment.

Consumed with what they were both feeling and encouraged by his intimate gesture she pulled him into a firm embrace.

Gretchen couldn't hold back the flood of tears, the wash of emotion was just too great. Edward was so understanding, so thoughtful in his protection of her. She inwardly chided herself for appearing like a blubbering mess, but a near death experience could do that to a person.

Edward rubbed her back in small circular strokes, soothing her for a few idle minutes. Gently trying to pull away from the embrace, he was only halted by her arms gripping him more. Smiling against her hair, his chivalrous nature gave her more time to in the embrace.

Holding her in his arms was like nothing he felt before. Today had marked a lot of firsts for him and even though there were some things he never cared to revisit, there were others that he longed for. He wanted her, needed her to be apart of his life from this day on.

They were destined for each other.

Feeling her trembling soften down, he nudged her again letting his words seal the deal.

"It's time to go home. Are you with me?", he prodded.

He felt the deep inhale against his chest, before hearing her mumbled answer against his now sodden shoulder.

"Always".

TBC


	3. How the migthy fall

**How the mighty fall.**

The Academy years were such a crucial phase in a young persons life, full of dreams and aspirations. A good portion of us were fueled with naivety and a desire to be something greater then what we started out as.

In the beginning, I don't think many of us contemplated the cost of reaching those dreams. Indecisiveness was far from our minds, as long as we passed our exams, we were set to go. As one year folded into the next, the challenges became more intoxicating, more substantial in our development. Like a drug we took in as much as we physically could, but Dick took it to the extreme.

By our third year, I saw a transformation in him, good and bad. This bright, intelligent man who I met on the first day, had evolved into one of the best pilots at the academy. His evasive skills were off the record books. He had an uncanny ability to out maneuver any scenario his instructor had thrown his way. After three years, Dick had found his calling. The man was a prodigy, destined to sit at the helm of a Starship.

The consequence being, that he knew it too. Our seemingly casual breaks, spent in the Academy flight simulator were a way to gain more experience. Personally, I needed that extra training, but for Dick it was all the more consuming. Like a wild fire brushing across the earth, he burnt up his spare time running the most daring scenarios.

For a time, Dick was respectful of his fellow class mates and in the company of lecturers. His instructor had praised his achievements, made him a example in which to follow. But over time those achievements had begun to wear thin on his instructor's resolve. No longer satisfied with the whole picture, Dick tunneled his vision into fierce competition. Our instructor had seen it for what it was and had taken measures to curb his enthusiasm. Being all too aware, the dangers of over achieving and letting it go to your head. Dick just took it under his belt. In his mind, he had something to prove, to conquer and no amount of discussions in the 'office' would stop him.

At the time, I was happy to ride high beside him, as we all were. That nagging thought, tapping in my subconscious was squashed selfishly. He was the godfather of pilots, who thrashed out maneuvers and skirmishes with ease. Forbe, Lengus and I, all tried to beat him, only to fail at the last obstacle. We dwindled in comparison. It had been a great source of inspiration and for the most part. After all it was just some harmless one on one showmanship, but there was one cadet who took it personally. One cadet who never wanted to admit defeat. No one took it as hard as Paris.

I knew Owen from grade school, two years younger then I. A ridged kid who spent his mess breaks going over ship schematics and helm operations. Now at the academy, he was envious of Dick and you could see it in his eyes. The jealousy of a man who was seeing his dream gifted to another man, a cocky person who was unworthy of such success. I remember those last words, yelled throughout the observation platform. I still bristle just thinking about it.

Owen wanted to be a pilot for as long as I've known him. But the tragic outcome was his lack of skills. No matter how many hours he clocked up in flight training, he just didn't have the cognitive ability. Certainly not enough to make piloting your main forte.

His short falls in piloting weren't enough to stop him from taking Dick's bait though. For weeks they went at it, until I had to step in, enough was enough.

Our exchange that afternoon, wasn't something I am proud of. I should have been more tactful and had I known where it lead, I would have chosen a different method. My gentle guidance had been met with turbulence, flat spinning into an unavoidable fiery end. His final argument had been tainted in accusation. In his own words, just like Owen Paris, I was a _substandard jealous_ pilot. I realized at that very moment, that things would never be as they once were.

Slowly he began to pull away from me, from our camaraderie as the lure of excellence clouded his judgement.

It was difficult, especially when he had so much to offer.

His brother had graduated and was serving on a deep space assignment, even he was of little use.

His mother and sister had visited. I stood outside our shared quarters and had given them the privacy they requested, their heartfelt intervention in full swing. I never forgot the look on his sister's face as she stepped outside the room with their mother's hand clasped in hers.

Confusion, hurt and loss.

Like someone who had been subject to a lifetime of deceit.

The last ditch effort came from the only person who could stop him educational wise. Our Formal instructor.

He attempted to steer him onto other avenues, even going so far as have him removed from the curriculum. For his own safety and for that of his class mates. When Dick got wind of his fate, we noticed him come around somewhat. He had started performing better in his other courses, tactical had been a close second to his piloting.

I wasn't fooled though. He played the consummate good Shepard, helping other cadets where ever he could. Underneath it all he had been a troubled man, just buying time till graduation.

For the Head Admirals, there was no question for Dick's future in Starfleet. He was to stay and complete his education.

My personal conclusion at the time was that, they thought a few more years would see him phase out of it. A textbook excuse that kept him attached to Starfleet and honor rolls.

Truth was, they needed him. They needed the best and were willing to overlook his transgressions, pilots like him would come in handy, in an uncertain future.

For the rest of us, it was like looking at a dead man, only Dick never knew it was coming.

But we did. We _all_ did.

TBC


End file.
